


jus’ wanna be with you

by coolburritobean



Category: High School Musical: The Musical: The Series (TV)
Genre: Also a lot of this doesnt make sensee, E.J. Is a Little Brat, F/M, Hurt Ricky Bowen (HSM: The Series), Ricky Bowen Needs A Hug (HSM: The Series), SO SORRY, Sad Ricky Bowen (HSM: The Series), Stuttering, everyone is ooc, whoops
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-29
Updated: 2019-12-29
Packaged: 2021-02-27 16:21:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,170
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22020016
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/coolburritobean/pseuds/coolburritobean
Summary: ricky is sickand lonelyand heartbrokenand wants a hugakahe pushes himself too hard while also being an angsty teen
Relationships: E.J. Caswell/Nini Salazar-Roberts, Ricky Bowen & Nini Salazar-Roberts, Ricky Bowen/Nini Salazar-Roberts
Comments: 3
Kudos: 142





	jus’ wanna be with you

**Author's Note:**

> soo this is set after ep 8 but before 9? lol im assuming there are more rehearsals cos thats usually how stuff works in shows and stuff. so its like there are gonna be a rehearsal after this. anywaays hope you enjoy!! (alsooo a lot of this is ooc so yeah.)

When Ricky woke up that morning, he knew the day was not going to end well.Loud and disruptive arguments downstairs were the least of his worries, since the pounding headache combined with the nauseated stomach were at the forefront of his mind.Struggling to get out of bed, Ricky pulled on a random hoodie and jeans and shuffled downstairs, hoping desperately to catch a ride from one of his parents. 

Tense atmosphere was all he felt as he entered the kitchen, working up the nerve to ask for a ride to school in the lull of a heated fight.

“Hey Mom I don’t really feel like—“ 

“ Not right now Ricky, I don’t have time to deal with you” Ricky was abruptly cut off and the quick dismissal felt like a punch to the gut, literally, it felt like he couldn’t breathe properly anymore, and he was forced to take shallow breaths, hyperventilating a little. 

“Hey! You don’t get to speak to Ricky that way Lynne! God, you are always on everyone’s case about EVERYTHING-“ Uh oh, looks like this next squabble was all Ricky’s fault. Again. Damn, when would Ricky learn to stop messing everything up in his life.Quickly reaching over to snatch his helmet, he sneaked out the door and started to skate to school.Except hand-eye coordination was never one of Ricky’s strongest skills, and the pounding headache made it impossible for him to skate without falling off or almost crashing into anything every 5 seconds. 

Giving up, Ricky walked to school, barely making it into first period on time as he slid into his desk just as the bell rang.He could feel E.J.’s eyes boring into his back, but couldn’t muster up enough energy to even feel anything about his situation, opting to just sigh in defeat and trying (but failing) to focus on the board.English was actually one of Ricky’s better classes, so he was able to take the A.P. course. Today however, Ricky could barely make out the words on the board, and taking notes was not going to happen.Ricky hadn’t even realized he dazed off until the bell rang and his teacher gave a concerned look that Ricky brushed off as a disappointed glare. 

Shit, there was no way Ricky could pull off going to gym, and with the churning of his stomach, it wasn’t just him feeling lazy.Rushing off to the closest bathroom, he hurriedly shut and locked the closest stall, breathing slowly and trying to push down the stinging bile that was slowly working its way up, until with a final lurch, making an appearance in the porcelain bowl.Reeling and heaving at the dry heaves that came soon after, Ricky finally was able to settle his stomach long enough to wipe his mouth and rush off to his next class. 

Classes passed in a blur, and lunch was spent in a cramped stall with a gurgling stomach and self-deprecating thoughts.Separate texts from his parents stated that they’d both be out of the house, with his mom long gone for Chicago and his Dad probably out drinking with his buddies until he remembered he had a son too.It was laughably easy, the way he was able to dodge concerned looks from Big Red and his teachers. Blinking back tears, Ricky was almost able to convince himself that it was fine, his parents were basically abandoning their son for their own needs. After all, who was he to say that he thought his needs for just a hug were important.Hell, who should even listen to him, its not like anything that came out of his mouth did anyone any good, what with him screwing up his relationship with Nini over 3 words and just sighs sparking huge arguments between his parents that end with him alone.But Nini.In his sick and addled mind, his usual defenses against his feelings toward Nini fell, with every spare thought only of her.Her smile, her voice, her kindness, everything about her was perfect.Ricky felt tears sting his eyes as he blinked them back in frustration, since who was he to even feel like he deserved a fraction of the life Nini had, after all, didn’t he just mess up everything he got close to?

Finally school was over, and Ricky trudged over to the library, intending on finding a nice chair to curl up and sleep.He tried to set an alarm on his basically ancient phone, but with his blurry eyesight and pounding headache, he couldn’t even look at the screen without feeling sick to his stomach again.Randomly pressing the screen, Ricky gave up and let himself doze off.

He was abruptly awoken by a harsh push on the shoulder, and blinked blearily at them. 

“Whaa—“

“Ricky, where were you during rehearsal! You basically let everyone down, and Ms. Jenn has everyone searching for you right now. Damn, I better text the group chat.” E.J. glared at him harshly as Ricky sat straighter in the hard chair, trying to ignore the crick in his neck and the ever increasing pulsing in his stomach since he was woken up from the middle of his nap.

“Ohhh shit, I thought I set my alarm...I really am s-so sorry about rehearsal, oh god I can’t believe—“

“Save it Ricky” E.J. cut him off, “just tell your stupid excuses to Ms. Jenn, I bet she’ll even believe your lies about how hard life at home for you is.Poor you, you know 50% of marriages end in divorce, right? You’re not special, and you don’t know anything, I can’t believe Nini had ever loved you.No one on the cast even likes you.God, you just don’t know when to give up, huh? You never should have gotten Troy, you don’t deserve anything Ms. Jenn gave you.” He stormed off, leaving Ricky reeling with all of these new confessions.So people really didn’t want him around, at least he knew that for sure now.It was nice that they pretended to like him, but he knew the truth now. He should probably pull out of the show too, but doing that would be even more selfish than staying and ruining everyone’s hard work.He still had to go speak to Ms. Jenn about him missing rehearsal, and just talking to another adult disappointed in him sprang tears to his eyes and a tight feeling in the pit of his stomach, making his nausea even worse than before. 

“Ms. Jenn? May I come in?”Ricky knocked on the door hesitantly, shrinking into his hoodie even more and looking subconsciously at his feet and pattern of the carpet.

“Yes Ricky, please come in, I need to speak with you.”

“You’re a good kid, but you have to learn how to commit to something. I’ve given you a big role, but with it comes even bigger responsibilities—wait, Ricky hon, are you crying?”Without even realizing it, Ricky was quietly sobbing and hugging one of Ms. Jenn’s theatre themed throw pillows, already dreading looking up and seeing her disappointed expression at how she chose such a failure of a lead.

“Oh Ricky, what’s wrong?”

“I-I-I, my parents are fighting for real, and it shouldn’t be such a big deal, they’ve b-been unhappy since forever, I can’t b-believe they haven’t divorced yet, but it still st-stings and I feel like I might throw up ‘cos I think I’m like sick, and I j-jus’ wanna go home b-but I don’t even think I have a home anymore ‘cos no one is even there an-an- and I dunno I just feel like such a failure go-god I can’t even sp-sp-speak right I ju-ju-just—“ Ricky couldn’t speak anymore, his old stutter overtaking him, making him want to cry even more.Warm hands held him close, making Ricky cry even harder, until Ms. Jenn pulled away.

“I am so sorry about your situation Ricky but is there anyone I can call to take you home tonight?”

“I-I don’t really know?” 

Ricky muttered to himself, mind dazed and stomach churning relentlessly.

“Oh Ricky, I’m not really sure about the protocol here at East High but-”

“Uhm, Ms. Jenn? We still need to run-“ Nini interrupted, cutting herself off, “Ricky? What happened? Are you alright?”

“Th-thank you so much for y-your help Ms. Jenn, but I should really be getting home since we have a second Tech Rehearsal here tomorrow...” Ricky finally managed to get his stutter a little more under control as he wiped lingering tears, but even then Nini still stared at him conflicted, concerned since Ricky usually didn’t even have to struggle with his stutter.

“Erhm, thank you for all of your help Ms. Jenn.Goodnight. S-sorry for all the trouble” and with that Ricky walked off, picking up his board and finally, feeling the full effects of his sickness after all of the adrenaline from seeing Nini began to wear off. 

“Ricky! Wait up!”Nini ran outside in time to see Ricky trying but failing to stay up on his board.

“What do you want Nini? I need to get home”Ricky said breathlessly, panting from doing nothing but wrestle with his churning stomach and floaty headache. 

“Are you okay? Do you need to talk about anything, you seem kinda not ok.”

“Honestly Nini, what is there to discuss alright? You’ve made it abundantly clear that you and I were just “buddies” until we almost FREAKING kissed.Plus, your ex-boyfriend absolutely despises me and basically told me I’m nothing to everyone on the cast, including you.And who am I to doubt that since I’ve been feeling pretty shitty myself lately.Not that I don’t hear that enough from my own mother...” Ricky muttered that part to himself, “But its not even just that. Its that you weren’t able to understand that if I admitted to myself that I loved, it’d be that much easier for you to hurt me by walking out, like mom. I don’t really know where this is going, I-I just needed to get myself away from you, no, I couldn’t ruin you like I ruin everything in my life. I’m still hung up on you, but I can’t be with you, I’m a mess, you don’t want me. I can barely take care of myself, let alone be in a relationship with someone as amazing as you. You deserve better, but I still want you, er, I, I’m not even sure what the point of this entire thing was, since it doesn’t solve anything and I-” suddenly, Ricky felt way too out of breath and the edges of his vision began to turn black and he let himself stop fighting his exhaustion and fall into darkness.

“RICKY!OH MY GOD RICKY WAKE UP!!” All he heard was a shrill scream and a harsh slap to the face.Opening his eyes up and inhaling sharply, Ricky saw Nini and Big Red and Ashlyn and Seb and Carlos and everyone fromthe cast surrounding him. 

“Wha-what are you all doing here?”

“We were worried about you! E.J. stormed out of the library and we were all super anxious about what went down. I know how weird my cousin can get about theatre and jealousy.” Ashlyn responded, looking sheepishly when she mentioned her cousin.

“Wow, um thanks so much guys.Did I faint?”

“Yeah, uhm, thank god Carlos caught your head in time, I kinda just stood there” Nini locked eyes with Ricky before speaking again.

“Hey guys?” she looked around, “uhm, I kinda want to talk to Ricky alone?”

Once everyone cleared away from the pair, Ricky spoke up.

“Look, Nins, all that stuff I said before was totally out of line, like, not coo-“

“No.Ricky Bowen, you are amazing and your feelings are completely valid.You don’t need to shy away from emotions and your own feelings because your afraid of hurting others, since you’re only going to end up hurting yourself.Even though it hurt me when you didn’t love me back, I needed to realize that you weren’t ready, and I shouldn’t have rushed you into anything. Alright? You are amazing Richard Bowen, and there are so many people around you who can see that”

“Ricky, I want you. I’ve been pushing everything down cos’ I thought you were with Gina and I was also with E.J., but I do want you, and if that means I have to teach you that you are amazing too, then that’s exactly what I’m gonna do.”

Ricky settled into Nini’s open arms, holding her close. He didn’t want to let go, allowing himself to let go of everything around him and just enjoying the moment.

p.s. ricky got the hug he wanted + a lil extra

p.p.s. ricky and his dad worked everything out and now they’re stronger than ever

p.p.p.s. ej got the slap he deserved.


End file.
